wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
