Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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