what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
