:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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