I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
