i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Randomize
