I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
