Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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