He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
