a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
