woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I will pee on everything he values.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
