I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
