It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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