rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
