conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
