I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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