I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
