to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.