Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?

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  (913): end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket? http://tfl.nu/fo6s
  Replies (5) Good night (851) Bad night (716)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name

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  (617): Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name http://tfl.nu/lls6
  Replies (10) Good night (878) Bad night (553)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer

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  (267): My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/qmj6
  Replies (102) Good night (1332) Bad night (3763)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning

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  (770): his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning http://tfl.nu/bect
  Replies (32) Good night (15524) Bad night (2363)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hannah Montana > iCarly

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely

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  (847): Hannah Montana > iCarly (309): I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely http://tfl.nu/uzzz
  Replies (49) Good night (1335) Bad night (5177)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one

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  (803): just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one http://tfl.nu/7c6m
  Replies (12) Good night (3976) Bad night (1478)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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  (802): i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please. http://tfl.nu/g6pa
  Replies (5) Good night (4026) Bad night (1379)
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  (415): View more from California

  He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.

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  (415): He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her. http://tfl.nu/kc95
  Replies (16) Good night (4207) Bad night (1731)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?

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  (785): Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head? http://tfl.nu/u71n
  Replies (4) Good night (1571) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.

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  (406): He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana. http://tfl.nu/b27k
  Replies (9) Good night (3061) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.

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  (478): Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio. http://tfl.nu/i0fo
  Replies (6) Good night (2212) Bad night (722)
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  (626): View more from California

  I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner

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  (626): I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner http://tfl.nu/0q4j
  Replies (4) Good night (3832) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.

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  (434): some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads. http://tfl.nu/zu14
  Replies (11) Good night (1071) Bad night (2335)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.

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  (301): Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours. http://tfl.nu/5jwu
  Replies (10) Good night (3432) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS

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  (570): OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS http://tfl.nu/smac
  Replies (4) Good night (281) Bad night (829)

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