Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.

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  (850): The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad. http://tfl.nu/dk8u
  Replies (27) Good night (678) Bad night (5280)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.

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  (504): insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us. http://tfl.nu/mwl1
  Replies (20) Good night (4749) Bad night (974)
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  (714): View more from California

  dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.

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  (714): dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/j38h
  Replies (25) Good night (4458) Bad night (686)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.

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  (631): i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee. http://tfl.nu/3r9a
  Replies (16) Good night (5031) Bad night (747)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name

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  (561): Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name http://tfl.nu/36j9
  Replies (4) Good night (3288) Bad night (949)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.

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  (814): I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone. http://tfl.nu/qodf
  Replies (2) Good night (2268) Bad night (929)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him

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  (614): Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him http://tfl.nu/w6qf
  Replies (19) Good night (5244) Bad night (1171)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.

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  (908): You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution. http://tfl.nu/9oem
  Replies (4) Good night (2478) Bad night (762)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster

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  (717): He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster http://tfl.nu/7ph6
  Replies (14) Good night (2453) Bad night (720)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.

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  (734): Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator. http://tfl.nu/c745
  Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (405)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?

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  (412): Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf? http://tfl.nu/41qm
  Replies (15) Good night (981) Bad night (689)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.

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  (905): Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk. http://tfl.nu/f6av
  Replies (3) Good night (769) Bad night (384)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!

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  (207): But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on! http://tfl.nu/iftt
  Replies (11) Good night (415) Bad night (909)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.

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  (325): She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her. http://tfl.nu/stpn
  Replies (0) Good night (543) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.

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  (309): Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents. http://tfl.nu/ltx5
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (723)

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