Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.

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(213): Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now. http://tfl.nu/tt7k

Replies (8) Good night (4537) Bad night (591)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here

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(815): Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here http://tfl.nu/3q8i

Replies (36) Good night (980) Bad night (6201)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Why are my keys in the refrigerator?

(1-205): View more from Alabama

You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.

(205): View more from Alabama

This explains so much.

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(205): Why are my keys in the refrigerator? (1-205): You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you. (205): This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/ouwy

Replies (30) Good night (18381) Bad night (1112)
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(917): View more from New York City

hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father

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(917): hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father http://tfl.nu/ngdo

Replies (44) Good night (1952) Bad night (9042)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)

(708): View more from Illinois

WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE

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(612): she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :) (708): WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE http://tfl.nu/vm9y

Replies (9) Good night (6119) Bad night (1130)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"

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(508): this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes" http://tfl.nu/1j0f

Replies (18) Good night (1838) Bad night (6041)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand

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(678): Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand http://tfl.nu/u3cn

Replies (5) Good night (874) Bad night (2336)
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(518): View more from New York

You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.

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(518): You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused. http://tfl.nu/8r68

Replies (2) Good night (3794) Bad night (668)
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(702): View more from Nevada

The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves

(806): View more from Texas

That's not technology. Doesn't count.

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(702): The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves (806): That's not technology. Doesn't count. http://tfl.nu/x0wz

Replies (3) Good night (1657) Bad night (755)
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(206): View more from Washington

a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside

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(206): a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside http://tfl.nu/s7y4

Replies (12) Good night (2751) Bad night (1074)
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(917): View more from New York City

when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.

(917): View more from New York City

Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.

(347): View more from New York

he is a god among men.

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(917): when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment. (917): Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles. (347): he is a god among men. http://tfl.nu/gmep

Replies (52) Good night (7773) Bad night (925)
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(714): View more from California

I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.

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(714): I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off. http://tfl.nu/39nr

Replies (10) Good night (2854) Bad night (666)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Vodka?

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Forever.

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(703): Vodka? (202): Forever. http://tfl.nu/90ug

Replies (7) Good night (1445) Bad night (551)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...

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(843): There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room... http://tfl.nu/5owj

Replies (3) Good night (1240) Bad night (437)
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(281): View more from Texas

Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.

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(281): Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice. http://tfl.nu/w31k

Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (210)

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