I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
