i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
