i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
