did you get engaged???
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
