We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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