I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize