Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
