our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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