I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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