let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
