lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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