what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
