I'm lost and stupid without you.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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