at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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