he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
