In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Success! We fucked roommates!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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