They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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