I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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