Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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