tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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