Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Houston, we have a blender
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
