Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
