Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He better not be in your backpack
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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