Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
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I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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