wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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