yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
