If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
