what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
