I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
