she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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