I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
