Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
COCAINE IS GR8
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
