8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Panties = found
Randomize
