put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
