I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
are you so shy because you have an std?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Randomize
