you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
