Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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