I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
