Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
