We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
