I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
honey bunches of taint.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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