Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
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he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
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no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.