I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?