I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
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You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
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he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset