don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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