ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
