just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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