Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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