Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
