You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
