billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
