I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
love makes seman taste better
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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